Before mom hits menopause she loves me very much. She buys me real jewelries but now she is a total different person. She has mood swings. She gets angry easily. She complains this and that. I have this feeling that she loves boys over girls. Boys can pass on the family generation but girls carries on their spouse's surname. Girls are there to help out with everything. When I was a little girl till now ,she says stop rushing to grow up and enjoy life but now all she does is compare her friends' children's salary $60-$80K to me and my brother. I know how badly we want to mortgage a single family home, but in our case we just have to take one steps at a time. I believe and know we will get there one day but just not today.
Mom: if you knew English I will share my nightmare news with you. It comes back haunting me and I can't tell it to anyone. It all started in 2008 at the Supreme court scene and waking up from each nightmares I run into the bathroom to cry. I want to start earning $50K-$60K so much with a passion and living back to my fancy life style, but for now I just have to work with what's offer on the table. Please mom- don't push it. Stop taking anger at me whenever your sisters and mom pisses you off. Please stop taking all your anger off your shoulder on me. If I have a choice I would change make everything that satisfied what you plan. Please bere with me.... hang on tight and I will eventually lead the family to a better flawless world. .
If this continue then it is a better option for me to move apart from the family. I can't take this menopause anger anymore. It hurts when your disciplines and expectations reaches at your level. I will never reach there.
dear wendy....
ReplyDeletei know how you feel because even for me, before in the past few years, my mom kepy complaining about me why not finishing college.. and wanting me to find a better job or full time job.
it was a difficult time for me. it made me really sad most of the time, hearing her boice made me sad, made me cry alot.
because her words just made me feel bad, they don't understand that words they say to us can hurt us really deep.
for me my parents kept pushing me to hurrt finish college, then they found out that i needed to take longer to finish, it made them upset and also made me really hurt, made me put myself down and depressed. but i still kept going, i didn't give up on myself, i guess just take in their words..... later on they wont be complaining to you anymore because they will get used to it and get bored of repeating themselves
Dear Lizzie,
DeleteWho on earth doesn't want a stable full time job? Since history everyone who comes to America for liberty, life, pursuit of happiness, and property. We look forward to earning enough money to live a better life.
I understand in your case school isn't your first priority. It isn't something you enjoy spending most of your time pursuing your degree. School isn't for everything, however if we aren't those lucky fellows who earns billions of dollars by doing successful businesses without a college degree and was a college drop out then we must settle it the traditional way. Your mom loves you and wish for you to have the best of everything.
Overall, I believe we will shine soon. You will also be done with school. I have faith in you.